The Beauty of God in Woman

What is the most frightening thing a woman faces?

Sharing her heart with her husband.

Her whole heart.

Why?

Because of the very real risk that he will find her ridiculous.

She does not want to give her heart to someone who’s going to laugh at it, ignore it, reject it.

In many ways, she does not blame him. She finds it ridiculous herself. And yet, there it is still.

When she fully shares her feelings, she shares a heart that is not logical.

Sharing that with a man who is logical is really scary.

She is afraid he will see her as an idiot and reject her. To her, that is terrifying, and so, she holds it back.

The feelings she has are so deep, so wild that she’s afraid she will overwhelm him. That raw emotion in her heart is truly her, and really vulnerable. So deep that it defies logic.

What purpose could it possibly serve? Surely this emotion is a hinderance. He tells her so, and it confirms what she already believes to be true. Wouldn’t we all be better off if we could discuss things rationally? Wouldn’t we avoid the pain?

Perhaps, we may avoid the pain.

In doing so, we would also avoid the love. The deep, wild love that she offers. It does not come without pain.

To go down the path of trying to rationalise, stabilise, subdue, make realistic, withhold, we will miss meeting half of God. We will miss the gift that she brings to the relationship.

When she shares her heart, in all its wild depth of feeling, she offers him a gift of insight into the being of God. He does not know or understand this part of God, because it is not within him. Yet it can be revealed to him through his wife.

Being in a relationship is a spiritual discipline. As humans we attempt in some way to understand a being that is so different from us. Unless we had some similarities in us, we could never do it. So we learn to understand some small parts of God that are reflected in ourselves. Even more rarely, when we allow ourselves, instead of making our partner wrong about their differences, we allow ourselves to truly see who they are. And then, we may be blessed enough to glimpse the beauty of God expressed in our partner.

When we dare to allow ourselves to step beyond the pain of feeling misunderstood, and instead become curious, “Wow, I never knew that it is different for you.” Then we will glimpse a part of God that has been hidden from us; “He’s like that and I never realised.”

When I see Tim let go of everything about trying to fix or understand what I’m saying and just be there for me and let it wash over and not cut him down, I feel him reflecting God in those moments. I have learned so much about God from him, what God can do for me, that he isn’t overwhelmed by my pain, my anger, my problems or my fierce love.

The gift that we have as women, is that, like God, we feels things so deeply and irrationally. To have a love like He loves, He has to be that way. This is how we reflect Him as women, that we feel things to their depth. This is the glimpse of God that we offer to our partners, when we share our heart with him; that this is what LOVE is like. Irrational, beyond reason, beyond knowledge, beyond understanding.

This is why it will never work for her to hold it back. Who can hold back the essence of God? It is an unstoppable force, intent on making itself known. Just like God, she cannot rest until she has expressed it. This is not weakness in her, it is the greatest power that exists. It is love.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” – Ephesians 3:18-19

To be honest, we fear it as much as he does. The real problem is not that he will not allow it, it is that we fear to express it. Take courage, this is God speaking through you. It is always a risk, but perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18).

Share your heart again.

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